I’ve had so much on my mind about parenting lately. I was talking to another mom this week, and we both agreed that while our husbands and other’s say we are doing a great job, every day we see our struggles, we see the areas where we have fallen short. I have really been struggling with parenting one of my children lately. While I know that some of the issues are developmental and situational, I also know that I could be doing more. Today I want to share a bit about what we are dealing with, and I would especially love to hear from some of you as I process how to move forward with helping this child.
Some of the issues we are struggling with are:
- Being so concerned about whether or not others are obeying, that she can’t seem to get anything right for herself.
- Dawdling and usually being the last to finish easy tasks.
- Talking back.
- Repeats (multiple times!) the same behaviors she’s already been disciplined for.
We are seeing these same behaviors at school and at home. I struggle so much to:
- Know the right way to respond.
- Responding patiently.
- Be consistent in my response.
What do I do when she:
- Is tattling on a sibling who is disobeying when she herself isn’t obeying? (Besides yell and say, “Take care of yourself!!!”)
- Turns to me after I’ve apologized when forgetting something, and says with attitude, “And who’s fault was that?”
- Is out of bed at 6am running around the house (frequently!) when we’ve set the rule to stay in bed until Mommy and Daddy are awake?
We take timeouts. For serious offenses we spank (I know there are others out there who don’t agree with this). We take away dessert for poor table manners. She takes naps when I’ve had too much and just need a break.
This usually sweet child was adopted as an “older” child. She likely deals with a sensory processing disorder (a sensory seeker). I know that we are dealing with issues that don’t have easy answers. I’d love some input from anyone who struggles with some of these issues. How do you deal with them? What are some natural consequences that have worked for you? Do you have a reward system that works well for you?
A couple of blog posts that I’ve read the last couple of days and have me thinking more about this are this post at The Better Mom about having a schedule for children and I just saw today’s post at We Are That Family sharing about how a reward chart is working for her daughter. After coming back from the U.S. in June, the kids will only have a short time in school and then will be home for 2 months. I know that if I don’t have a plan and strategies to help my daughter get through the summer, that it’s going to be a long 2 months! I want to come up with a plan now so that I have time to figure out how to implement it well before summer gets here.