Simplifying Life By Admitting I Can’t Do It All

October 4, 2012 By 2 Comments

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As Michelle has mentioned, this season has been a challenging transition for both of us.  I’ve mentioned it as well sharing about our new events and my attempt at a new schedule.  But, pretty much right after I posted my new schedule, I started feeling really overwhelmed with…well, everything.  I couldn’t keep up with cooking or cleaning or blogging.  And I just felt like a failure as a parent.  I read some of your comments encouraging me to rest and I talked to friends and family about how I was feeling.  Almost everyone affirmed, I am trying to do a lot.  I have a lot of demands with 3 little ones practically all the same age.  And I am with them almost all the time.

After those conversations and remembering encouraging words from my friends and my mom and my husband, I had to admit it.  I can’t do it all.  And I’m not failing as a wife or a mom just because I can’t keep up with this pace.  This is a different season with different needs and challenges.  I want to enjoy my family and my home, not be stressed and overwhelmed and guilty all the time.  I’m a little teary just writing this because I think the Lord is freeing me from this heavy burden of responsibility I have carried to do it all, all the time.

So, these 3 precious little ones have started Preschool 2 days a week at a local church.

They just go for half the day.  But I can’t tell you how amazing 4 hours to myself feels!  Part of my challenge with the tasks that I have on my plate is I very rarely have a long amount of uninterrupted time to do anything.  With cooking and cleaning, I have been trying to do a little (that feels like a lot) every day.  And I basically feel behind all the time.  So I’m going to try to do most of my bulk cooking on one of those days and most of my cleaning on the other day.  Hopefully with this, I can feel the freedom to just play with my kids or sit down and rest during nap time.  Those hours also give me a bit of a mental break from having toddler conversations.  :)  I’ll let you know how it goes.

Have you had to admit you can’t do it all?

 

Adjusting our Routine with a New Season

September 19, 2012 By 5 Comments

One of the biggest effects of all the transition this Fall is to my daily schedule.  Now I use the word schedule loosely.  Yes, I have a planned hourly schedule for my day, but in reality, it just serves as a guide.  I am not always following the plan hour by hour, but it helps to have already thought through the parts of the day.  It was strange this time around to change Karis’ activities to “SCHOOL”  all day long.  Makes me miss her, but she is loving all the learning and activities and relationships she is getting to experience every day! I go through this kind of planning with significant changes (seasons, new jobs, babies dropping a nap, etc.).  There is more about what that involves here.

Here is my revised version for the Fall.  This is something I am constantly tweaking as I learn what really works and what doesn’t.

 

Here are a few of my challenges and questions I’m dealing with regarding my daily schedule:

  • I want more time with the Lord in reading and prayer (though I also know this season of life lends itself more to prayer throughout the day and playing lots of worship music as I go).
  • By the time I get the twins down for nap in the afternoon, I’m just tired and don’t follow through well with time with Landis or daily cleaning chores.
  • I need more built in time for blogging.

At the end of it all, I need to aim for 2 things – diligence and flexibility.  It may seem like those don’t really go together – that you either aim for one or the other.  Actually, maybe only I think that, which is where I get trapped.  But I need both.

  1. Diligence – The reality is I have a lot to do.  The pace of every day is pretty high and there are not a lot of negotiable things on my to do list if I want a fairly clean house, have food to eat, and stay on our tight budget.  If I hit snooze a couple times in the mornings, that time eats into my time with the Lord and blogging time.  If I don’t stay active during naptime, I can’t find another time to get cleaning chores done.
  2. Flexibility – However, I have 4 kids that have lots of individual needs.  Their needs for comfort, snuggles, teaching, or training and discipline often come  right when I’m trying to accomplish something else.  I want to be attentive and compassionate enough in the middle of all my tasks to stop and care for them.

My daily schedule is a constant work in progress.  How about you?  Do you operate from a master schedule?  What are your challenges in keeping to a routine?

Back to School Boost for Moms Sale

August 6, 2012 By 1 Comment

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been spending lots of time thinking about the upcoming Fall transition.  I told Michelle this week that I am somewhere between trying not to rush the summer away and being ready for a new routine.  With my oldest entering Kindergarten, this feels like a huge transition being a first-time school mom.  I’ve spent lots of time thinking about school lunches, our new routine, carpool, school uniforms, chore charts, meal planning, and new categories in our budget.

Well, today and tomorrow you can get an E-book bundle that deals with several of those topics and more.  The Back to School Boost for Moms bundle is written by five different bloggers and they combined forces to give us their resources for just $10.

Here’s what it includes:

  1. Create Your Perfect Cleaning Schedule: So You Can Get More Done In Less Time ($5.99) by Christine at I Dream of Clean.
  2. The No Brainer Wardrobe: Get Dressed with More Confidence and Less Fuss ($7.99) by Hayley at The Tiny Twig.
  3. Cupcakes: 12 Months of Hapiness! ($4.99) by Liz at Hoosier Homemade.
  4. Feast in 15: Speed Cooking Weeknight Dinners ($4.99) by Tiffany at Eat At Home.
  5. Tell Your Time: How to Manage Your Schedule So You Can Live Free ($4.99) by Amy Lynn Andrews at Blogging with Amy.

And you can get all that for just $10.  But the sale only lasts until tomorrow.  So, click over to check out the Back to School Boost for Moms bundle.

I’ll have more great resources coming this week to help us all get prepared for the Back-to-School season!

The Confident Mom Weekly Household Planner Sale

July 11, 2012 By Leave a Comment

 

Great news!  The Confident Mom is running a great sale on a great product.  (Did you hear all those “greats”?)

Confident Mom Weekly Household Planner

 ”I am offering a discount on my Weekly Household Planner for the month of July.  The planner will be only $5 for the month of July using discount code:  XMASJULY “

 

The Confident Mom Weekly Household Planner takes all of the thinking and planning out of managing your home.  All you do is go to the current date in the Planner and get to work.  Susan has thought of everything and has broken down almost every task you can think of that it takes to managing your household into easy, daily checklists.  Check it out!  It’s not too late in the year to turn over a new leaf.

Guest Post by Charlie – Organizing Family Schedules

June 20, 2012 By Leave a Comment

A few years ago, my twins got involved in competitive swimming. It was a great outlet for them and my husband and I were happy that they had a sport that both Jack and Ellie enjoyed and could do together. They were exercising almost daily and had a whole new group of friends that they loved to spend time with. It was a great fit!

But then there was also soccer for our son, Wesley. And ballet for Anna Bryan. And piano for all three of the oldest kids.

It was just too much for me to keep in my head. Not to mention the things on the calendar that needed my attention; Bible study, meetings at church, meetings at the preschool, meetings with the PTA. It was overwhelming. My breaking point came when I totally forgot to meet a friend at Chick-fil-A. I was a complete no-show and I felt terrible. I hadn’t written down the time and place and so I didn’t go.

I’m a visual and active learner and I need to actually see things to remember them. If I don’t physically write down something, I won’t remember it. If my husband or one of my kids writes something down and only tells me about it, I won’t remember. There are notes and reminders in my messy scrawl all over our house. I’m thankful for the genius who created sticky notes. I’m not sure I could live without them.

A dear friend of mine suggested I look into a calendar for moms. She recommended momAgenda. I checked out the website, saw that the agendas were sold at a store near my house and I drove out and bought one. That day.

The momAgenda is a lifesaver for me. Each week fills a double page and there are four spaces at the bottom each page for me to keep track of each child’s activities and needs. I use the top space for my own personal items and each child has a block where I keep track of their extracurricular activities, notes for school, appointments, etc. Each agenda is meant to be used for 18 months; a huge plus for doctor appointments that need to be made six months out.

I keep it open on my desk and the agenda has become planning central for our entire family. I even include our dinner menu for the week in the agenda. It’s been the perfect way to keep our family organized!


Get Organized with Style with momAgenda!

What kind of planner or calendar do you use to keep you organized?

Resources to Help Create and Run a Daily Schedule

March 27, 2012 By 5 Comments

Schedule

photo credit

Once you’re convinced why you should have a schedule, you now know how to get started in writing a daily schedule that works for you.  Today, I want to give you a few resources to help you accomplish this.

For my weekly/monthly calendar, I use Google Calendar.  It’s easy to use, has a clean format, and is accessible from any computer, phone, or tablet with internet access.  One of the best functions of Google Calendar is the ability to maintain multiple calendars.  For example, I have my personal calendar, my husband’s calendar, and my blog editorial calendar,  I can view them all together or separately.  It’s really helpful when I’m thinking through scheduling appointments, time with friends, or travel.  I also have a basic Calendar widget on my Android phone that syncs with my Google Calendar so I can easily view it on my phone at any time.

For my daily master schedule, I use Google Docs.  I prefer using a spreadsheet for this since I use multiple columns for me and each of my children.  Any spreadsheet program will work, but I prefer online access and the way Google Docs works.  I just have one master copy of this schedule.  I don’t plug in the events into my calendar.  It just serves as a guide to go through my day.

For all you paper lovers out there, there are plenty of free online printables to help with scheduling.  Here are a couple of my favorites:

The Project Girl’s Morning, Afternoon, Evening Schedule - great resource for a broader schedule as opposed to an hourly format

Money Saving Mom’s Time Management Series - excellent resource chock full of articles, free downloads, and tips for different stages of life.

What do you use for your daily schedule?  Do you prefer paper or electronic?

Resources for Creating a Cleaning Schedule

March 15, 2012 By 4 Comments

Last week I asked the question, “Do you have a cleaning schedule?”  I finished the post asking, “What is your minimum?”  For some people, your minimum might be all you get done.

photo credit

As I’ve thought through this post, I’ve realized that a cleaning schedule or routine is going to look incredibly different from one family to the next.  When I grew up with my mom who worked full-time, we did all of our cleaning on Saturday mornings.  Now that I am a stay at home mom, I have more flexibility to do a few things every day.  Also, adding children limits our time to do things that are outside of our daily minimum.

I know that I work best when I have something written, a schedule to follow that will help keep me on track.  Here are a few resources that may help you create a schedule of your own.

If you’ve wanted a regular cleaning schedule, but haven’t been motivated to make one or just aren’t sure where to start, hopefully those resources above will help you get started.  My favorite resource, however, is a checklist created by Money Saving Mom that incorporates daily cleaning, weekly cleaning, monthly cleaning, and seasonal cleaning all in one place.  After checking out some of those resources above, hopefully you can figure out what routines should be on your checklist and then create a schedule that works for you.  Here is her personal cleaning list, and here is a blank customizable cleaning list that you can use.


What other resources do you know of to help create a cleaning schedule?


Sharing this post at The Southern Product Queen, Celebrating Family, We Are That Family, Crystal & Co., Women Living Well, & The Better Mom.

Schedule Examples

March 13, 2012 By 6 Comments
Schedule
photo credit

Last week I talked about why I have a schedule.  Today we are going to look at different examples of setting up a schedule.  I think the biggest thing to remember in this is we are all different.  We have different strengths, tendencies, preferences, and personalities.  I would encourage you to try and use some type of schedule regardless of how loose or rigid you prefer to think through the hours of your day, but it can look very different than the next person.

I use two different formats to help me manage my time, a weekly/monthly calendar and a daily master schedule.  The weekly/monthly calendar just serves to keep up with any appointments, times with friends, Dee’s work calendar so I know his breaks, and any travel we may do.  I use Google calendar for my weekly/monthly calendar so it’s on my laptop and syncs to my phone as well.

The daily master schedule serves as an outline for the things I do that are most consistent every day.  I have one copy of my daily master schedule printed that I refer to periodically.  It really is an outline, not a task list.  It gives directions for my day, so I’m not constantly having moments of “I forgot to…!” or “I didn’t realize it was already (insert time)!” My daily master schedule is hourly and includes a column for me and each child (well, the twins share a column).  This is what serves me most in my season of life and with my personality.  Of course, this is where it can vary from person to person.

  • You may have one column for just your daily activities.
  • You may just have a few things listed for the morning and evening.
  • You may use an hourly format or a morning, afternoon, evening format.

Here are a few things I would recommend if you are getting started with a daily schedule. First, evaluate.

  1. Start with a blank hourly schedule.  You can use a Google spreadsheet for that or there’s a much cuter one here. (To use the Google spreadsheet, sign in with your Google account first, then go to File, Make a Copy, then rename and save it for yourself.)
  2. Think through how you currently spend your time, not how you want to or should spend your time.  Fill in the hourly schedule with a basic list of what you do every day.  You may just fill out one if your days looks pretty much the same or fill out different ones for different days of the week if your schedule changes a lot.  Let the blank spaces be blank for times that aren’t planned.
  3. Make a short list of priorities (no more than 3-5), things that you want to ensure you make time for.  This could include exercise, rest, time with your husband or children or friends, Bible study and prayer, or managing your home.
  4. Take a look at how you’re spending your time now and see if your priorities are covered like you want them to be.  Usually they’re not.  We all want to do more with what’s important to us.
  5. Don’t feel guilty.
  6. Ask yourself some questions:
    • Is my schedule too full/unmanageable?  Is it possible to give up something?
    • Are there blank spaces on my schedule?  Am I wasting this time?  Could I use it better for my priorities or do I need to plan rest for that time?
    • Where can I adjust things?
Now, plan.
  1. Start with a new blank schedule.  This could be as simple as Morning, Afternoon, Evening time slots or as detailed as hourly time slots.  If you have multiple children that are involved in different activities or are on different schedules, I find it helpful to have a column for myself and each child. Use what works for you.
  2. Fill in the standard events that typically do not change (work hours, meal times, kids’ nap times, carpool time, children’s extracurricular activities, etc.).
  3. Look at what is leftover and fill in time for the important things that you desire to spend time on.  Go back to the list of priorities you made.  These things may inform when you get up and when you go to bed.
This can be challenging if your schedule is super full and you just don’t have the space for your priorities.  Do you need to give up something?  Is there any way to adjust or shorten something?  Do you need to ask for help?  This can be eye-opening if you have more time available than you thought.  Are you wasting time?  What things could you give more time to?

Below is a copy of my schedule that I aim to follow.  Again, I do not follow this every day.  I use it as a guide for my day and I use it to evaluate how I’m spending my time if I feel like something is suffering.  I change it every few months probably, mostly in light of my children’s changing routines with naps or different activities. It’s going to change a lot again in about 6 months when Karis starts school and I’m in the carpool line twice a day.  That has been one of the most important things for me to remember.  Schedules and routines are constantly changing with time, growth, development, and just plain change.  If I have to adjust the plan I thought was going to work, I am not failing. I just need to evaluate and make a different plan.

I would love to hear your thoughts and questions so we can give each other ideas and support.  Do you have a written schedule that you follow?  Do you have a loose or detailed plan?  What is the most challenging part in planning your time?



Next week, I am going to share different online and printable resources to help you in managing your time.

Why Have a Schedule?

March 6, 2012 By 2 Comments

Schedule

When my oldest child hit 2 ½ or 3, I started looking at online resources on toddler/preschool activities and routines for a stay-at-home mom. It really helped me to look at other mom’s daily schedules. The more detailed their descriptions, the more it helped me.  I didn’t really want to mimic what they were doing, but it gave me ideas. I remember reading one mom saying she led her son through 30-minute increments through the day. His attention span wasn’t a lot longer than that and it helped structure their day. Looking at her schedule overwhelmed me having 10-12 different time slots to think through.

I took a few things away from her example. One was while that works for her, that’s not me. Another was it would probably serve me and my children to lead them through the day in intentional time rather than just saying “Go play.” between meals and naps. And isn’t that why I’m at home with them, to raise them, lead them, influence them and be with them, not just shoo them away so I can cook for them and clean up after them?  Over the last couple of years, I have started implementing some of those intentional times through the day, but they don’t cover the entire day. We all need times when they can just play.

I have gone through different stages with this as my family has grown.  I have had a rough daily schedule with just a few things planned between meals and naps and now I have a written schedule that takes us through every hour.  I am always more detailed on paper than I actually am in experience.  The details help me think through different options, but it also lets me know what I am saying yes or no to when I decide to veer away from what the schedule says.

With having four very young children home with me every day, I have found a need to have a more intentional plan.  It feels somewhat like when I was teaching first grade.  Children at that age don’t govern themselves, their time, their volume, or their interactions really well.  So if I had more than a couple minutes of unplanned, undirected time, things would start getting out of control.  In my home now, that equates to lots of screaming and pulling at Mommy’s pants leg.  I have had to answer questions like

“What will they do when I’m cooking dinner?”

“When will I clean the house?”

“When do I get personal work done (paying bills, blogging, etc.)?”

“When do I spend time with each child?”

All of these questions have led me to think through every hour for each child.  And again, I do not follow a detailed hourly schedule every day.  Some things are pretty constant, but mostly, I have done most of the thinking and I can just use it as a guide each day.  Sometimes I follow it almost exact.  And sometimes, the only thing we do from that schedule is eat and sleep and I choose other things for the rest of the day.  Or like one day last week, we all just stayed in our pajamas and rested and played together.

More coming next week about different examples of daily schedules.

Do you follow a daily schedule?  What have you found that works for you and your family?  If you have children or not, married or single, work or stay at home, how do you govern the time that you have?

Thoughts on My New Cooking Plan

November 29, 2011 By 20 Comments
Chicken, Tomato, Leek sprouts & Basil Mayonaise Sandwich
VS.
My Christmas dinner plate

     I have been implementing my new cooking plan for a week now and truly, I love it.  I want to share more about how it’s worked for our family and some things I’ve had to think through.  Basically, here’s the plan.  We are eating smaller, simpler lunch meals at dinnertime and heavier, more complex dinner meals at lunchtime.  There are three significant things I was evaluating when I decided to start this plan.

  1. The work load at different parts of the day
  2. My energy level at different part of the day
  3. My family’s activity level and needs at different parts of the day.
Here’s where I was before in having a traditional meal plan:
Lunchtime
Workload – Low
Energy level – High
Family’s activity & needs – Low

Dinnertime
Workload – High
Energy level – Low
Family’s activity & needs - Low

     I was trying to get the most done when I had the least energy and my family needed me the most.  I was rushed and overloaded with the cooking and cleaning when my kids were whiny and needy and my husband walks in the door to download his day.  Then I was exhausted and barely making it through the kitchen clean up at the end of the night because I was just so tired.  So, I switched it up and now I’m doing the big cooking and cleaning mid-day when I have more energy and motivation and my family is pretty content and I’m doing minimal food prep and clean up in the evenings to be more available to my family and just to rest more.  

     Dee and I talked through this and he was so willing to try it.  Now he loves it too!  Here are a few things we’ve thought about in the last week.
  • Since we are having a big meal during the day when he is at work, I pack a dinner-sized portion for him for the next day.  
  • We still sit down together at the table in the evenings.  We’re just eating sandwiches or pizza pockets or something.
  • We can always switch it if we’re eating dinner at someone’s house or I am packing the kids’ lunch to be out for the day (which rarely happens!  We are usually out in the mornings and home by lunch.)
  • If we are having guests over, it actually works better to invite them over for dessert.  I don’t stress about having a gourmet meal, dessert is more frugal to share :) , and it’s a calmer time of evening when I can enjoy being hospitable.
  • It’s so much healthier to eat this way.  We’ve both noticed how we are more satisfied through the day and night eating a larger meal at mid-day.  Isn’t this how they eat in parts of Europe?
Would this type of plan benefit you?  What would be most challenging in it?  Anyone else ever try this?  
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